Fat Mama Cookies

This is my only cookie recipe.  I used to make them often, when the boys were little.  (A long, long time ago.)  I used to call these "Goody Two Cookies" because you can remember the recipe so easily that way, but then I had to rename them when I realized that they were completely responsible for porking me up, as we say around here.
They are (here's that tired but apt descriptive) addictive and delicious; once, years after I had taken them to an event, a woman I had met there called me from Kentucky to ask for the recipe.  Again.
This recipe can be used for oatmeal or chocolate chip cookies with a minor variation.  Sorry to say they are just as fattening either way.  So.. here is the oatmeal recipe.

Take 2 sticks of softened butter and throw them in the mixing bowl.
Add 2 cups of sugar.  (I use 1 of brown and 1 of white, but you can use either/or.)
2 very generous pinches of salt
2 eggs
2 big slurps of vanilla

2 eggs
2 cups of all purpose flour
2 cups of oatmeal
1 tsp. baking soda
and mix this up. 

This part is important:
 Let it sit for about 15 minutes before you start making cookies!   Bake at 350 for 12-15 minutes.

Here is how you change it up for chocolate chip.  

Instead of adding the oatmeal, add 2 more cups of regular flour.

Add chocolate chips (and nuts if you want to).   That's it! 

Don't say you weren't warned.

 

  

64 Blondies in a Hurry

As if the title of this blog didn't convey the idea enough, let me be clear: I'm impatient. And a procrastinator.  Not a good combination.  Nor qualities to be proud of, but it's an unchangeable part of my genetic make-up, without a doubt.  And, uh-oh, I signed up to bake for a church bake sale in a moment of .....optimism. 
Now here's how to make 64 Blondies in a big rush.

You need a half-sheet pan.   I use these constantly.  Spray it with Pam.

Then put a sheet of parchment paper on top.  The Pam holds it to the pan.  I buy sheet parchment paper on ebay.

Then spray your parchment paper with Pam, too.  This is one of those steps that's okay to leave out, but I usually do it.


Then, take 4 sticks of butter, softened, and a full bag of brown sugar.  Or 4 cups of brown sugar.Put them in the mixing bowl with the butter and add a big glug of vanilla and a nickel size pile of salt. 

By the way, my vanilla bottle looks like that because I make my own vanilla elixir with vodka and vanilla beans. Another post, someday.

So now, start the mixer and go turn on the oven to 350.

Add four eggs, one at a time to the sugar /butter mixture.  When that is thoroughly mixed, you can start adding Self-Rising Flour.  If you don't have SR flour, add 3 tsp. baking powder at the end.

Add SR flour till it's really stiff, about 5cups.



Then you can add chocolate chips.  Or instead, cinnamon, nutmeg and clove.  Your choice, but not both.  I added the chocolate, no debate there, because I had the chips.  Spread it out on the parchment paper using a wet spatula, and throw it in the oven for 30 minutes, or until cracks on top don't shine.   That is, they are NOT WET.

Now here comes the important part, the cutting.

Take the trusty Pam and spray your knife or use a pizza cutter.  Start by cutting in half.  Then each half in half, and so on, until you have 7 cuts each way, vertical and horizontal.  So now you have a #$%load of cookies to take to whatever event you are obligated to do so, and in about 40 minutes.  Or you could eat them.